strength

When Looking for Life’s Answers

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Some big events in life can keep us questioning why and sometimes we’ll never know the answers, years later or till the day we leave this earth. However, sometimes answers come as we live life. Sometimes the answer remains a big mystery and can cause us to turn to various sources: astrology, tarot cards, meditation, secret societies, other philosophies or theologies, dark rituals and or various religions. We seek answers on this earth, but the big picture is beyond the universe.

Years ago I believed that there was a God somewhere out there, but I had no faith in His existence. I had no sight of who God is. Anything bad that happened I would call karma if it was similar to something I had done to someone else.

There were times in my early adult years where I learned how to pray the rosary. I thought I was doing something that God would be proud of, along with touching the feet of a baby Jesus statue. I tried reading a King James Version Of the New Testament and ended up throwing it aside frustrated trying to understand it.

I think about the way people lived back in the BC days, some sacrificed babies or humans in front of their community. They felt that God wanted them to do that to heal their land, not knowing, they were bringing a curse upon themselves.

I think about the time I spent at a friend’s birthday party playing with the spirit board and when I went home the next day creepy things started happening in my life. I started having horrific dreams of not being able to wake up or something holding me down while I was half asleep, but I would always wake up after calling on Jesus. When we mess with spiritually dark things, we opening up the wrong door in our lives that allow spiritual torment. Sometimes it can be someone in our ancestry, family or an event that happened in a place we’ve moved into.

After walking through life in darkness, not knowing the “whys” in life, accepting circumstances just as they are without any meaning, living religiously and being tormented with horrifying dreams and thoughts, life finally made a turn when I started to read God’s word, the Bible and finally came to know who God is and that He actually exists. The horrific dreams stopped and eventually, God delivered me from many other things, not just in me, but from the generation passed down to me. The Lord is always at work. After fully placing my life in God’s hands and reading His word, life made perfect sense. I no longer had to search for answers elsewhere. I found truth, peace and joy in life through God.

John 14:6 say, “Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man comes unto the Father, but by me.”

After reading the Bible, I came across a scripture that speaks against repetitive prayers such as the rosary.

Matthew 6:7 says, “But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do : for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.”

It also says that God is spirit and He does not live a statues. John 4:24 says, “God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth.”

So praying in repetition and touching the feet of a Jesus statue does not please God. As Abraham went up to the mountain to pray and trusted God so much, willing to let go of his one and only son, his heart was all in. What God wants is your heart, a relationship with you and faith in Him.

Although life still has its hardships, God is still at work on my heart, allowing the hardships to strengthen my faith and trust in Him. Many times I felt angry toward God for my situation, but it’s only because I don’t see the big picture. I can’t see God working behind the curtain, then it becomes a question of, “Am I going to choose to believe that God is good and am I going to continue to trust Him,” and thus far, it’s been yes with a greatness later on. Even in the most devastating loss in my life, I still trust Him and know that one day, I will see my Mother again in heaven.

Having the Lord in my life and growing in knowledge of Him through reading the Bible and prayer, the events in life become the brush painting the canvas of God’s masterpiece and everything that brings it together is like the poetry of life telling a love story God’s undying love for humanity.

Blessed by Weakness

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Living a life of dependence on another is expected for a child, but once we get to a certain age, the idea of dependency is something to turn away from. I still remember when a friend told me that living my life for God meant living a life of prayer and dependency on Him. After all my friends at the time we’re working on becoming completely independent, the thought of having to dependent on someone was discouraging to hear, but the ways of this world doesn’t often match up to God’s ways.

I realized later that being dependent would become the blessing in my life when it comes to depending on the One that can move mountains and bring miracles. Being dependent on God means letting go of trying to control a situation after realizing that you are powerless over it.

With a false perspective of thinking that God is around to only punish or control, it’s hard to see that God would want us to have faith in Him. In order to depend on anyone, you have to trust that person. Trusting someone is also having faith in him/her and it takes a relationship and time to build trust, although sometimes trusting in something or someone can be done blindly.

Hebrews 11:6 says, “But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.”

From the day I surrendered my life to God, it’s taken much time to learn to trust Him, especially when times are tough and nothing is going the way I expected it to go, at that point of my life. I have to keep remembering that it’s like trying to see a large painting when standing so close to it. We don’t see the whole pictures until we step far enough away from it. I have to let go and stop trying to control the situation, especially when I find myself running around in circles with nothing changing. I have to let go, surrender, realize that I don’t know and that I need to depend on God to help me. Almost every time, He answers immediately, although other times, I have to wait for His time & just trust Him.

It sounds like weakness and it is, but what’s weaker, is not admitting my weakness and continuing to live in denial. I have to keep going back and tapping into the source, which is asking Him for strength. The continual turning to Him becomes a blessing as it strengthens our relationship with Him and our trust when we see His hand of faithfulness and grace come into every difficult situation. This is when our own weakness becomes the blessing in our life & sometimes what seems to be a horrible thing is just the beginning of a turning into something good.

2 Corinthians 12:7-10 says :
[7] And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. [8] Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. [9] And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. [10] Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I don’t have everything figured out. When life doesn’t make sense I can trust Him, knowing that God is cooking something good in the kitchen. It smells really good, but I don’t know what it is. But when it comes out, it’s going to be amazing because I know that He is amazing, that He loves me and He has good plans for me. I trust Him & that’s what gets me through the tough times.

Without ever turning to our friends or relatives, we would have no relationship. In the same sense, without ever turning to God, we would have no relationship. The more we turn to Him and eventually see His answered prayer, the more we realize that we can depend on Him. The prayer may not come the way we expect or when expected, but to keep hope alive, we just hold on without knowing, trusting and letting go of our own understanding of it.

Proverbs 3:5-6 says:
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.

I pray right now that anyone that this blog/message has spoke to will come to full awareness of how much God loves them and wants him/her to depend on God for all difficult situations in life, that they will realize that God doesn’t want anyone to be burdened by hardships, but to give the burden to God and let Him work out their difficult situation so they can live with peace & joy knowing the God is faithful. I pray that they will learn to depend on God and their lives will be very blessed by it. In difficult situations that they can let go and trust you, knowing that things will get better and trust that God will work everything out. In Jesus name I pray. Amen!