surrender

Discerning the Voice in Your Head

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In the book of Genesis, God made man on the fifth day. In the second chapter, God made a woman from man’s rib. God also told the man not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. In chapter 3, the serpent came to tempt the woman to eat the fruit.

God says to Adam in Genesis 2:17, “But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.” Meaning dying inside.

But in Genesis 3:5, when the serpent tempts Eve, he tells her “For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.” She fell for the serpents lies and ate the fruit. Then Adam and Eve realized that they were naked and felt ashamed.

Adam and Eve were living in paradise with all the food in the garden that they can eat and weren’t allowed to eat from any but one tree and yet that wasn’t enough. The serpent knew one thing, to change their perspective of God or cause distrust, meant causing them to hide from God, in other words, breaking communication or connection to their Creator. The serpent twisted it in a way where it made God look like He was holding something good back from them. The serpent wants to establish doubt and distrust in God. He also placed in them, the intent of exhaulting themselves when he threw in, “you’ll be as gods.”

The fall of Satan who was called Lucifer in heaven, started with pride.

Ezekiel 28:17 says, “Thine heart was lifted up because of thy beauty, thou hast corrupted thy wisdom by reason of thy brightness: I will cast thee to the ground…” He was a beautiful angel who couldn’t handle praise, it filled him with pride and made him believe that he can take over the throne of God, his own Creator. How foolish! Thrown out of heaven and fell to earth, then becomes the opposer, the accuser, the tempter, the one that leads the weak astray. His whole goal is to bring as many people as possible to the fiery pit of hell.

The conclusion has already been set, God has the victory, but everyone has a choice on which path to follow or who’s voice to listen to or who to live for. Everyone has a choice to worship God or idolize people, tangible items, the serpent, other false gods or just themselves. Some think that somehow there’s a lack of knowledge for one that believes in God, but there’s a lack of wisdom for someone who thinks there is no Creator of living beings on this earth. There is a recipe for how living things function, a purpose. Nothing is thrown together, there is no random Big Bang, no random universe. Planets aren’t scattered everywhere, there’s a consistent pattern and each has its place in a galaxy.

There’s a song by Nicole C Mullen that I’m reminded of. In her song, my redeemer lives, she sings, “who taught the sun where to stand in the morning? And who told the ocean, you can only come this far? And who showed the moon where to hide ’til evening? Whose words alone can catch a falling star? Well, I know my Redeemer lives…All of creation testifies This life within me cries….yeah The very same God that spins things in orbit Runs to the weary, the worn and the weak And the same gentle hands that hold me when I’m broken They conquered death to bring me victory.”

As time passes walking on the path of life with God, the knowledge of Him grows and the familiarity of His voice grows that when the serpent comes, lies can be easily detected. Trust or faith in God shall leave no room for the serpent to deceive and will be powerless.

Who’s voice are you listening to and what is influencing your decisions in life? Who are you putting your trust on? Do you trust God or are you being led astray with lies entering your mind?

If you’re tired of walking on a path of emptiness, pain, hopelessness or depression and you’re ready to surrender your life to God. If you hate your life, stop living your life for yourself and start living for God.

You can pray this prayer out loud. Lord God, I’m tired of living my life for myself or others. I surrender my life to you. Take me as I am and show me your powerful love. Fill me with your peace, joy and love to overflowing. Change me inside so I can see that you are a good, loving and a faithful Father who will never leave me or forsake me, a Father that knows my name. Lead me to knowing you personally and bring people into my life that can walk this path of life with me. Thank you for your answered prayers. In Jesus name I pray. Amen!

Blessed by Weakness

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Living a life of dependence on another is expected for a child, but once we get to a certain age, the idea of dependency is something to turn away from. I still remember when a friend told me that living my life for God meant living a life of prayer and dependency on Him. After all my friends at the time we’re working on becoming completely independent, the thought of having to dependent on someone was discouraging to hear, but the ways of this world doesn’t often match up to God’s ways.

I realized later that being dependent would become the blessing in my life when it comes to depending on the One that can move mountains and bring miracles. Being dependent on God means letting go of trying to control a situation after realizing that you are powerless over it.

With a false perspective of thinking that God is around to only punish or control, it’s hard to see that God would want us to have faith in Him. In order to depend on anyone, you have to trust that person. Trusting someone is also having faith in him/her and it takes a relationship and time to build trust, although sometimes trusting in something or someone can be done blindly.

Hebrews 11:6 says, “But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.”

From the day I surrendered my life to God, it’s taken much time to learn to trust Him, especially when times are tough and nothing is going the way I expected it to go, at that point of my life. I have to keep remembering that it’s like trying to see a large painting when standing so close to it. We don’t see the whole pictures until we step far enough away from it. I have to let go and stop trying to control the situation, especially when I find myself running around in circles with nothing changing. I have to let go, surrender, realize that I don’t know and that I need to depend on God to help me. Almost every time, He answers immediately, although other times, I have to wait for His time & just trust Him.

It sounds like weakness and it is, but what’s weaker, is not admitting my weakness and continuing to live in denial. I have to keep going back and tapping into the source, which is asking Him for strength. The continual turning to Him becomes a blessing as it strengthens our relationship with Him and our trust when we see His hand of faithfulness and grace come into every difficult situation. This is when our own weakness becomes the blessing in our life & sometimes what seems to be a horrible thing is just the beginning of a turning into something good.

2 Corinthians 12:7-10 says :
[7] And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. [8] Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. [9] And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. [10] Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I don’t have everything figured out. When life doesn’t make sense I can trust Him, knowing that God is cooking something good in the kitchen. It smells really good, but I don’t know what it is. But when it comes out, it’s going to be amazing because I know that He is amazing, that He loves me and He has good plans for me. I trust Him & that’s what gets me through the tough times.

Without ever turning to our friends or relatives, we would have no relationship. In the same sense, without ever turning to God, we would have no relationship. The more we turn to Him and eventually see His answered prayer, the more we realize that we can depend on Him. The prayer may not come the way we expect or when expected, but to keep hope alive, we just hold on without knowing, trusting and letting go of our own understanding of it.

Proverbs 3:5-6 says:
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.

I pray right now that anyone that this blog/message has spoke to will come to full awareness of how much God loves them and wants him/her to depend on God for all difficult situations in life, that they will realize that God doesn’t want anyone to be burdened by hardships, but to give the burden to God and let Him work out their difficult situation so they can live with peace & joy knowing the God is faithful. I pray that they will learn to depend on God and their lives will be very blessed by it. In difficult situations that they can let go and trust you, knowing that things will get better and trust that God will work everything out. In Jesus name I pray. Amen!

To Love not Dictate : My Testimony

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For as long as I can remember I always felt in my heart that God exists, but my thoughts of who He is changed throughout the years.

My first experience of God’s answered prayers was when I was five years old. We were locked out of our house and as my Dad went to try to find the way of getting the spare key, it started to rain. As we were all standing underneath the eave outside in the rain, I felt a push to pray for it to stop raining so I looked up to the sky and I asked God to make it stop raining. Shortly after, it did. That could’ve been a coincidence, but interestingly, I can never forget about that moment.

My parents were Catholic and forced my siblings and I to go to church. I felt like it was a waste of my time, as I could be at home watching my favorite cartoon TV show, the Simpsons. Eventually I was forced to go to Saturday school at church for classes that would lead to being “confirmed.” I went religiously, but instead of learning, I slept in class. I never got confirmed. Actually, I stopped going. Somehow I convinced my parents to stop bringing me.

Even if I stoped and my “confirmation” didn’t happen, I still reached out to God, but not with repeated prayers or what I read from a book. It was a normal conversation. It didn’t make sense to pray in repetition it’s like talking to someone repetitively…that’s annoying, that’s not a real conversation. I kept on having conversations with the Lord for years until my freshman year in college when I started an anthropology class. I didn’t realize that my faith was dwindling and I wasn’t praying much. That same semester I met a girl named, Yanni who asked me if I know what the meaning of life was. She invited me to church and from there, I met other women and studied the Bible with them. I was so surprised at the words in the Bible. I’ve always read the King James Versions and never understood the old English, but studying with others helped make the meaning behind the words clear to me & started to gain an understanding of it.

They seemed to emphasize sin and confession and to me it seemed like I needed to submit my life to Him because I was too weak to stop myself from sinning. I started to hide myself from theses women as I felt they were pushing bible studies on me without even asking if I wanted to or not. So I ran away from them and as I continued to read the Bible, I kept seeing contradictions. I made an attempt to not turn my life over to God but looking for words that I can use to justify not following Him. Living for God in my perspective was about living a tight path with dos and don’t rules. I didn’t want to live like that. I wanted to stick to the idea that I have full control over my life, but not too long after, I realized that I don’t.

I went to University in the South Bay, but lived in the mid-Bay Area. My commute to school took about 30 minutes. For two weeks I felt that I was going to get into an accident. Every time I felt that I would pray for God to protect me. Then one morning I woke up to take a placement test at school. As I was getting ready to go, I felt a push to dress with sturdy clothes so I wore my denim jeans, a hooded sweater and most importantly, my boots with a thick sole.

As I merged into the freeway, there we’re a few cars closely surrounding me. As I turned the wheel back and forth, my car spun around with each turn. It wasn’t raining but somehow, I seemed to have lost control of my car no matter how I turned the wheel. There I was, thinking I had full control over my life. When I realized that I didn’t have any control over my car, I reached out to God, surrendered control to Him and put the protection of my life into His hands. I saw my car going straight to the tail end of a van and letting go, I prayed, “God, please protect me,” then shut my eyes.

I don’t remember feeling much after that except my car tumbling around and a heavenly embrace. All sounds disappeared around me except for the sound of chimes. When my car stopped tumbling , it landed upside down and when it stopped moving, the sounds around me came back, the traffic and everything else. I opened my eyes to shattered glass everywhere and hanging from my seatbelt upside down. I moved my legs to step on all the shattered glass on floor of the freeway. With sturdy boots, my feet were heavily protected. As soon as my feet touched the ground, I was able to release the seat belt I was hanging from.

Shortly after I got out of the car, there were people that came asking if I was ok. A man put a blanket over me to help with the shock. Eventually the paramedics came and the people that were there to help me disappeared. I don’t even remember them leaving, but as soon as the paramedics arrived, they were nowhere to be seen. I still wonder from this day if some or all where angels.

I remember being in the back of the paramedic van. There was one man in there, telling me how my condition was a miracle, that car accidents similar to the one I’ve just been in, usually result in death or in critical condition, usually an eyeball or brain left behind on the freeway.

When I got to the hospital, they tested my urine for internal bleeding. The results showed that I was completely fine. The only marks I had were tiny red dots on my hand from the broken glass and small bruises on my knee that hit the steering wheel. The doctor said it was a miracle, as did many other people involved. My car was totaled. The van that my car hit flipped to the side. The couple inside was perfectly fine. Thank God!

This was a turning point in my life. While I was on the freeway being interviewed by highway patrol, that was my first proclamation that I was going to follow Christ from now on. That moment helped me to realize that God does not want me to surrender to Him so I can live a life of do and do not, but the truth that was made clear was that He loves me and that I don’t know what’s best for me. My surrender meant God taking my hand at times I’ve gotten off the wrong path and leading me back to the path leading to life, joy, peace and love. Who am I to doubt the one that created me. He knows me more than I know myself.

Several months later, I gave my life to God through baptism & I’ve never been the same. After I got baptized, I see, feel and hear the Lord with me. I’ll never forget sitting at the park the day after and instead of my mind being filled with life’s troubles, all I could hear around me was nature: the birds singing, the water moving and the leaves swaying in the wind. That was the first time I felt God’s peace and when I stepped out of the totaled car that day, that was the first time I felt God’s love for me & my faith came that day as I realized that what the Bible says about His love for us…is the truth. His love is as a Father to His child in a pure and incorruptible way.

Testimony to Love and not Dictate

vangelifeblogLeave a comment

For as long as I can remember I always felt in my heart that God exists, but my thoughts of who He is changed throughout the years. My first experience of God’s answered prayers was when I was five years old. We were locked out of our house and as my Dad went to try to find the way of getting the spare key, it started to rain. As we were all standing underneath the eave outside in the rain, I felt a push to pray for it to stop raining so I looked up to the sky and I asked God to make it stop raining. Shortly after, it did. That could’ve been a coincidence, but interestingly, I can never forget about that moment.

My parents were Catholic and forced my siblings and I to go to church. I felt like it was a waste of my time, as I could be at home watching my favorite cartoon TV show, the Simpsons. Eventually I was forced to go to Saturday school at church for classes that would lead to being “confirmed.” I went religiously, but instead of learning, I slept in class. I never got confirmed. Actually, I stopped going. Somehow I convinced my parents to stop bringing me.

Even if I stoped and my “confirmation” didn’t happen, I still reached out to God, but not with repeated prayers or what I read from a book. It was a normal conversation. It didn’t make sense to pray in repetition it’s like talking to someone repetitively…that’s annoying, that’s not a real conversation. I kept on having conversations with the Lord for years until my freshman year in college when I started an anthropology class. I didn’t realize that my faith was dwindling and I wasn’t praying much. That same semester I met a girl named, Yanni who asked me if I know what the meaning of life was. She invited me to church and from there, I met other women and studied the Bible with them. I was so surprised at the words in the Bible. I’ve always read the King James Versions and never understood the old English, but studying with others helped make the meaning behind the words clear to me & started to gain an understanding of it.

They seemed to emphasize sin and confession and to me it seemed like I needed to submit my life to Him because I was too weak to stop myself from sinning. I started to hide myself from theses women as I felt they were pushing bible studies on me without even asking if I wanted to or not. So I ran away from them and as I continued to read the Bible, I kept seeing contradictions. I made an attempt to not turn my life over to God but looking for words that I can use to justify not following Him. Living for God in my perspective was about living a tight path with dos and don’t rules. I didn’t want to live like that. I wanted to stick to the idea that I have full control over my life, but not too long after, I realized that I don’t.

I went to University in the South Bay, but lived in the mid-Bay Area. My commute to school took about 30 minutes. For two weeks I felt that I was going to get into an accident. Every time I felt that I would pray for God to protect me. Then one morning I woke up to take a placement test at school. As I was getting ready to go, I felt a push to dress with sturdy clothes so I wore my denim jeans, a hooded sweater and most importantly, my boots with a thick sole.

As I merged into the freeway, there we’re a few cars closely surrounding me. As I turned the wheel back and forth, my car spun around with each turn. It wasn’t raining but somehow, I seemed to have lost control of my car no matter how I turned the wheel. There I was, thinking I had full control over my life. When I realized that I didn’t have any control over my car, I reached out to God, surrendered control to Him and put the protection of my life into His hands. I saw my car going straight to the tail end of a van and letting go, I prayed, “God, please protect me,” then shut my eyes.

I don’t remember feeling much after that except my car tumbling around and a heavenly embrace. All sounds disappeared around me except for the sound of chimes. When my car stopped tumbling , it landed upside down and when it stopped moving, the sounds around me came back, the traffic and everything else. I opened my eyes to shattered glass everywhere and hanging from my seatbelt upside down. I moved my legs to step on all the shattered glass on floor of the freeway. With sturdy boots, my feet were heavily protected. As soon as my feet touched the ground, I was able to release the seat belt I was hanging from.

Shortly after I got out of the car, there were people that came asking if I was ok. A man put a blanket over me to help with the shock. Eventually the paramedics came and the people that were there to help me disappeared. I don’t even remember them leaving, but as soon as the paramedics arrived, they were nowhere to be seen. I still wonder from this day if some or all where angels.

I remember being in the back of the paramedic van. There was one man in there, telling me how my condition was a miracle, that car accidents similar to the one I’ve just been in, usually result in death or in critical condition, usually an eyeball or brain left behind on the freeway.

When I got to the hospital, they tested my urine for internal bleeding. The results showed that I was completely fine. The only marks I had were tiny red dots on my hand from the broken glass and small bruises on my knee that hit the steering wheel. The doctor said it was a miracle, as did many other people involved. My car was totaled. The van that my car hit flipped to the side. The couple inside was perfectly fine. Thank God!

This was a turning point in my life. While I was on the freeway being interviewed by highway patrol, that was my first proclamation that I was going to follow Christ from now on. That moment helped me to realize that God does not want me to surrender to Him so I can live a life of do and do not, but the truth that was made clear was that He loves me and that I don’t know what’s best for me. My surrender meant God taking my hand at times I’ve gotten off the wrong path and leading me back to the path leading to life, joy, peace and love. Who am I to doubt the one that created me. He knows me more than I know myself.

Several months later, I gave my life to God through baptism & I’ve never been the same. After I got baptized, I see, feel and hear the Lord with me. I’ll never forget sitting at the park the day after and instead of my mind being filled with life’s troubles, all I could hear around me was nature: the birds singing, the water moving and the leaves swaying in the wind. That was the first time I felt God’s peace and when I stepped out of the totaled car that day, that was the first time I felt God’s love for me & my faith came that day as I realized that what the Bible says about His love for us…is the truth. His love is as a Father to His child in a pure and incorruptible way.