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Stories and thoughts about life written by Vange.

Blessed by Weakness

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Living a life of dependence on another is expected for a child, but once we get to a certain age, the idea of dependency is something to turn away from. I still remember when a friend told me that living my life for God meant living a life of prayer and dependency on Him. After all my friends at the time we’re working on becoming completely independent, the thought of having to dependent on someone was discouraging to hear, but the ways of this world doesn’t often match up to God’s ways.

I realized later that being dependent would become the blessing in my life when it comes to depending on the One that can move mountains and bring miracles. Being dependent on God means letting go of trying to control a situation after realizing that you are powerless over it.

With a false perspective of thinking that God is around to only punish or control, it’s hard to see that God would want us to have faith in Him. In order to depend on anyone, you have to trust that person. Trusting someone is also having faith in him/her and it takes a relationship and time to build trust, although sometimes trusting in something or someone can be done blindly.

Hebrews 11:6 says, “But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.”

From the day I surrendered my life to God, it’s taken much time to learn to trust Him, especially when times are tough and nothing is going the way I expected it to go, at that point of my life. I have to keep remembering that it’s like trying to see a large painting when standing so close to it. We don’t see the whole pictures until we step far enough away from it. I have to let go and stop trying to control the situation, especially when I find myself running around in circles with nothing changing. I have to let go, surrender, realize that I don’t know and that I need to depend on God to help me. Almost every time, He answers immediately, although other times, I have to wait for His time & just trust Him.

It sounds like weakness and it is, but what’s weaker, is not admitting my weakness and continuing to live in denial. I have to keep going back and tapping into the source, which is asking Him for strength. The continual turning to Him becomes a blessing as it strengthens our relationship with Him and our trust when we see His hand of faithfulness and grace come into every difficult situation. This is when our own weakness becomes the blessing in our life & sometimes what seems to be a horrible thing is just the beginning of a turning into something good.

2 Corinthians 12:7-10 says :
[7] And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. [8] Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. [9] And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. [10] Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I don’t have everything figured out. When life doesn’t make sense I can trust Him, knowing that God is cooking something good in the kitchen. It smells really good, but I don’t know what it is. But when it comes out, it’s going to be amazing because I know that He is amazing, that He loves me and He has good plans for me. I trust Him & that’s what gets me through the tough times.

Without ever turning to our friends or relatives, we would have no relationship. In the same sense, without ever turning to God, we would have no relationship. The more we turn to Him and eventually see His answered prayer, the more we realize that we can depend on Him. The prayer may not come the way we expect or when expected, but to keep hope alive, we just hold on without knowing, trusting and letting go of our own understanding of it.

Proverbs 3:5-6 says:
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.

I pray right now that anyone that this blog/message has spoke to will come to full awareness of how much God loves them and wants him/her to depend on God for all difficult situations in life, that they will realize that God doesn’t want anyone to be burdened by hardships, but to give the burden to God and let Him work out their difficult situation so they can live with peace & joy knowing the God is faithful. I pray that they will learn to depend on God and their lives will be very blessed by it. In difficult situations that they can let go and trust you, knowing that things will get better and trust that God will work everything out. In Jesus name I pray. Amen!

Idol Worship

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Usually if someone says, “I believe in something that is invisible,” you’d think they’re crazy. But why is it not as crazy to some people if one bows down and worships a statue? It seems it’s very difficult to believe in something that we cannot see. We’re used to having relationships with people that exists, living, breathing, alive that we can hung, pinch or kiss. Some kiss statues, thinking that God is in the statue. Some feed their statue fruits or milk. It’s pretty sad. I’ll admit though, when I was catholic, I kissed a baby Jesus statue and thought that God was starring down at me smiling. Maybe he was, but now, I think, God was watching me, thinking…hey, I’m right here, not in the dead statue.

Well if it’s not a statue that is idolized, it can easily be something else, like money, power, a girlfriend, boyfriend, spouse, kid or ourselves. Pretty sure God didn’t create us to worship anything other than Himself. As the first commandment says in Exodus 20: 3, “You shall have no other gods before me.” What we idolize can become our God. Some boys make their girlfriend their world that if she breaks up with him, he kills himself, visa versa as well. It’s sad. Prayers to loved ones that have lost someone in that situation.

What I’m really trying to say is that the only one we should worship is God. Anything we worship on earth, we can loose. Think about it, people don’t live forever. Some dead objects can live longer than people, but they can never love you back.

Even though we don’t see God, he lives forever and when we leave our bodies, we will finally see Him face to face. It’s like never seeing your Father, but before you were born, He left a book of letters to you so you can get to know Him and you can get to know how much He loves you and where to find him when you leave this earth. Those love letters of His is also known as the Bible. It’s hard to believe that such a big God that created the universe has such a powerful undying love for us, that no matter what we do, He will always love us. Even more hard to believe is that God loves us so much that he sent His Son from heaven to become a human being for the very purpose…to die for our sins by getting crucified on a cross. There’s no greater love than laying down your life for the one you love so that he or she can live, sort of like taking a bullet.

John 3:16 says,”For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

Why would Jesus have to do that? Think of it this way, we have laws in our country that were written long ago. Imagine if there were no rules in this country and anyone can do anything they want to do. There would be chaos everywhere, people would not know when they’ve crossed the line. There would be no line. Rules help bring order along with those that enforce the law. If one breaks that law, they can serve many years or a life time sentence in prison. In comparison, for someone who’s no longer in their body, it’s either heaven or hell. The sad thing is, is that some of us put ourselves in our own prison, sometimes it shows when we keep repeating the same thing and find ourselves in the same situation over and over again as if we can’t break out of the box or prison.

God has already set the rules long ago and when people break the rules, they go to hell, but it’s impossible to not break the rules as we are so flawed and live in an earth full of corruption. So Jesus came down, sort of like our advocate to stand in our place. Punishment was coming for us like a bullet and Jesus took the bullet for us. Through that we can be set free. It starts with faith the size of a mustard seed. Faith to believe that God love you & when you finally believe, that’s all the love you need to get through the hardest times in life. He becomes your strength, foundation, counselor, healer, shelter and many other things. Just believe. He’s waiting for you to receive His unconditional & powerful love.

I pray that if this spoke to anyone, that they will reach out and receive God’s love and forgiveness, that they will never again feel unloved, forgotten, unimportant, insecure, not good enough and especially imprisoned by the mistakes that have been repeating in their life. I pray that they will reap the joy from worshiping the one and only true God and nothing else. I pray that God will set them free from the bondage in their life…in Jesus name.

The Office Ghost

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Photo by Nick Bondarev on Pexels.com

When I was at that age of having friend sleep overs, we would sleep in the living room with our sleeping bags and tell each over ghost stories. We had a thick book of ghost stories at home to read from. No one really believed in ghosts, we just like to believe for the moment only to feel the thrill of getting scared.

Years later when I was almost out of my teen years, I worked for a small marketing company. On a typical day, I worked by myself in the office. The suite was upstairs so anyone coming in would have to walk upstairs. There was no elevator or other way in. A few people would come in everyday, typically someone delivering a package or a DJ picking up records. Every time someone opened up the door downstairs, I would hear the bells hanging from the door handle swing back and forth.

My desk was out in the open office area, while the main boss’s office had a full height wall with a door that can fully separate his office from the rest of the space. The door to his office faced out to the top of the stairs and beside the door was a full height window with blinds that were always turned open.

On a typical day of being in the office by myself, I was making marketing packages in my boss’s office. It was near the end of the day and the last person expected to come to the office had just left. I continued making marketing materials in my boss’s office sitting in front of his couch, faced out towards the door into his office, which was wide open. As I looked out past the door to the top of the stairs, all of a sudden a dark shadow shaped as a silhouette of a person passed by in front of the door. It happened so fast. I couldn’t think fast enough to figure out what it was before I already got chills. I new at that instant that it was a ghost. I knew there wasn’t anyone in the office.

Right after seeing the ghost and getting goosebumps, I stood up to look through the window and couldn’t see anything, then I stepped out of my boss’s office and walked around the office to make sure no one was in the office. I even checked the bathroom and still, no one. I wasn’t so scared. Just thinking about it, it almost seemed like the ghost in the silhouette of a tall and big man, did not want to be seen, almost like when he passed by, he was hoping I wouldn’t see him. It wasn’t what I expected or what I’ve heard with ghost stories where the ghost is purposely scaring someone and is crazy and wants to kill and destroy. It was nothing like that. This ghost wasn’t trying to be seen.

After a few days, I spoke with a few guys a that worked two suites down from my office. I often spoke with them as they were in a similar type of marketing business. Low and behold, I wasn’t the only one with a creepy experience. Both guys I spoke with had a ghost experience as well in their office suite. They believe it’s the same one and that some guy was murdered somewhere around that office suite a long time back.

The Bondage of Unforgiveness

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It’s hard to face pain. It’s hard to forgive someone who hurt, corrupted, manipulated, stole…etc. from you. How rotten that person is to do such a thing! Or if it’s not a person, sometimes it’s anger toward God for allowing it to happen. Whatever the case, as much as we feel some person doesn’t deserve it, we must let go and forgive. We may not forget or let that person in our lives again, but we need to forgive. Matthew 6:15 says, “But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

Bitterness or un-forgiveness is like plaque in our heart. In a similar way, bitterness is like the plaque, not so much clogging up our arteries, but when it sits in our heart and keeps storing up, it blocks up all the love inside of us. We become angry inside for so long that we begin to loose remembrance of why. Instead of thinking about how someone doesn’t deserve your forgiveness think about someone who needs to forgive you. If you want to be forgiven by that person and or by God, then you should also forgive others, even if that person does not deserve it, but do it for freedom in your heart.

If it’s too hard to forgive, pray for a miracle, that God will give you to ability to forgive that person/s. Sometimes in doing so, He will help you understand that person & things will change. I pray that anyone who’s been harboring un-forgiveness will find the strength in God to release it and be set free.

Covid News Sources

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If you read though the news, you’ll find that many news sources talk about how President Trump downplayed the virus. When you’re shutting down flights into this country, that’s obviously something big, sometime actions speak louder than words, but society these days would rather have words (Biden) than action (Trump). We had a shelter in place & had to wear masks, but why are people still acting like he didn’t say enough? He didn’t need to emphasize and focus on it as done by many news channels.

Many people don’t understand this. They think he’s killing people because he didn’t emphasize how contagious is it, but why would anyone rely on Trump for that information. He’s not a doctor! He’s not the news. Dr. Fauci said enough about the virus already. If that wasn’t enough, MSNBC was already working hard to scare the hell out of everyone. Doing all they can to make everyone think they’ll die from it no matter your age or how healthy you are, as if the odds are that high. According to COvid-tracker there are about 6 million covid cases. Almost 3 million that have recovered and almost 200 thousand that have died.

I’ve heard it one too many times coming from the mouth of others that, they stopped watching the news because they didn’t want to live constantly afraid. So why do people expect the President to be a news source or Doctor to scare the hell out of everyone? Wouldn’t people want a President who’s hopeful of things getting better rather than a Doomsday President? Either way, it’s our duty to take care of ourselves.

Beyond Lawlessness

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It’s been too long since the start of the protests. At first it all seemed like it stemmed from the death of G. Floyd, but after many captured moments of these protests, one starts to wonder, what the heck does burning down buildings, loitering small business, graffitiing residential neighborhoods, steeling frozen burritos from the grocery store and most of all, burning bibles have to do with #blacklivesmatter? Absolutely nothing!

I get how one can harbor hatred toward the police because of unfair treatment where justice did not prevail or other wrongful actions or accusations that would leave one bitter or raged with anger. This might lead to mistrust towards authority and wanting to destroy buildings that house police. But one must realize that not all police are as the ones that have broken the trust of the public. It’s unfair to categorize one cop with another that has violated his/her duties & this stands for everyone else, such as generalizing one person with another based on race, gender, economic standing, etc. We are all messed up human beings with issues and many of us can’t handle power. We make mistakes and need counsel to help us get back on the right path.

Beyond the whole point to protesting for #BLM, the footage captured is falling further away from its purpose. Black owned business are being looted and burned. Black cops are being shot. It’s really not about #BLM. All the riots happening around the nation is an attempt to bring about anarchy. Their goal is to get rid of the police. These rioters hate this country. They burn our Country’s flag. They graffiti historic monuments in our nations capital and take down statues that represent our history. Bad or good, it’s a part of our Country’s history & a reminder to learn from the mistakes of the past.

These anarchists are burning bibles, going naked in the streets, some convulsing and found to be on drugs when arrested. They hate #trump & one thing’s for sure, he would not allow anarchy in this country. Anarchists are lawless. Burning bibles have nothing to do with #BLM, this is an act against the Word of God. These may be satanists, humans under the control of darkness.

2 Thessalonians 2:9-12 NKJV says…
[9] The coming of the lawless one is according to the working of Satan, with all power, signs, and lying wonders, [10] and with all unrighteous deception among those who perish, because they did not receive the love of the truth, that they might be saved. [11] And for this reason God will send them strong delusion, that they should believe the lie, [12] that they all may be condemned who did not believe the truth but had pleasure in unrighteousness.

Be careful to not be wrongfully swayed. Seek the truth. God is one of order, law, love and peace, not of lawlessness, cursing, revenge and hatred. We are never above God in righteousness or judgement, but flawed beings, always in need of a savior to take our mess and make us right before God. Jesus paid the price, we just have to receive the gift.

Romans 5:10 NKJV
[10] For if when we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life.

Living in Cursed Land

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I lived in many places in and outside of this country, but mostly in the Bay Area and I’ve seen changes throughout the years, mainly involving density in real estate development and a huge influx of people, but there’s one city that has definitely changed in other ways.

San Francisco by the many Piers has been an area with high pedestrian traffic, street performers, fresh air from the sea and bay, and seafood laid out on display with a smell that dominates the streets. I love walking down Pier 39 and looking at the shops, buying ice cream, crepes & chocolate. It’s still as enjoyable as I remembered, but deeper into downtown, the atmosphere has shifted.

What I remember the most about market street was the smell of garbage or steam coming from a grate on the sidewalk and the many cars and pedestrians moving through. Years later I find myself working in downtown San Francisco and many things have changed. When I would walk down Market Street on my way to work, I would see many obscene things. First off, Market Street is now a dwelling for the homeless and the next street south of it, Mission is even worse. Not to say that homeless people are terrible, but they’re in a position where they don’t have a choice, but to pee out in public because they don’t have their own bathroom.

There were days I would see someone in the sidewalk peeing exposed to the public and later wiping their butt after pooping on the sidewalk. That wasn’t the only time, but it was often enough for me to no longer be surprised when it happened. Then there was the daily serenade of the drunk homeless man walking the sidewalk with a scream at the end of his song.

But homelessness and the use of the streets as a public-open toilet wasn’t the worst part. There’s a lot of people shooting up & walking around drugged up, screaming or talking to themselves, a poster of a person or screaming at people that walk by. If they weren’t tripping out on the street, they were passed out on the sidewalk. One can find used needles out in the street. On top of all this, one can see naked people biking or walking around the streets. I can’t count how many times I’ve seen naked people in San Francisco, but residents have tried to pass a law to make it okay to be naked in public. What about the children in the city that see all this?

Oh, but it gets worse. The City of San Francisco allows an event to be held out in the open in the streets where people wear black leather, spikes holding whips to perform kinky sexual acts. Lastly, in the midst of the popular Castro Street where many gay men live, there’s black magic and witchcraft performed behind the exterior walls of the buildings.

Wickedness brings a curse on the land. Many times in history, the curse came as a famine, a yield on the harvest. Some native tribes would sacrifice their babies, believing that would bring the harvest. Currently, babies are being slaughtered through abortions and if it doesn’t involve the blood of a baby, there’s also the blood of animals used in wicked rituals. There was also Babylon that came down because of the wickedness in the land.

The curse goes beyond just San Francisco, but throughout our Nation. We’ve discounted the faith of our founding fathers of this Nation & want to take all associations of God outside of our National Anthem and the founding document of our country.

I believe that the Earth can be affected by our physical acts that cause pollution but we cant blame climate change for everything. We can’t blame climate change for the corona virus, especially since there were worse plagues back in when cars didn’t exist, fracking, mining, burning massive amounts of coal, power plants, airplanes, etc. And what about the dinosaurs becoming extinct and all the volcanoes erupting? Why would we blame the earth changing on the acts of humans?

People are still blaming climate change for the fires. Many of them started from the thunder storm. We can’t blame thunderstorms on climate change. They’ve always been there. There’s a curse over parts of this land & there’s a solution. Stop the wickedness! God has blessed America, but society wants to forsake what the Lord has done, they want to hide in their sin, never bringing it to the light. We need to stand and pray together that this plague, lawlessness and fire will cease and once again turn our heart to God and bless Him.

Leviticus 26:1,3-6,10 NKJV
[1] ‘You shall not make idols for yourselves; neither a carved image nor a sacred pillar shall you rear up for yourselves; nor shall you set up an engraved stone in your land, to bow down to it; for I am the LORD your God. [3] ‘If you walk in My statutes and keep My commandments, and perform them, [4] then I will give you rain in its season, the land shall yield its produce, and the trees of the field shall yield their fruit. [5] Your threshing shall last till the time of vintage, and the vintage shall last till the time of sowing; you shall eat your bread to the full, and dwell in your land safely. [6] I will give peace in the land, and you shall lie down, and none will make you afraid; I will rid the land of evil beasts, and the sword will not go through your land. [10] You shall eat the old harvest, and clear out the old because of the new.